Heightened Views Of A Short Man II

NOTE: [This is not a real post] During the weekend, while some of y'all were on a date with your sweethearts, I was alone in my father's house under the ministration of the spirits... McDowells to be precise.

On Gay/Lesbian

The first time I heard the media talk about homosexuals, I was like "Naah... that's a white man's problem, we are Africans (Nigerians esp.) are too culturally refined to exchange to exchange pussy for a Nigga's arse! In fact our ancestors loved pussy so much they had to marry many wives... I see myself as a neo-polygamist. But then shit got real! Gay Niggas all over the place! *sighs*

Now...

Lesbians! :D Err.. We all know girls are such cute emotional creatures, they love to talk, cuddle and be touched. So it's excusable when they do all that with each other. From my McDowells-inspired perspective; I don't think lesbians sex is bad. TF am I saying? That shii turns me on! But the only thing that saddens me is when two lesbians decides to become life partners... Common sis, why wouldn't you want some Dick in your life?

So the other day, while the National Assembly were debating the Gay bill like it was some big deal, I wrote a 5 pages proposal on the Gay bill. Here's the breakdown:


 

             I.      Male homosexuals should be sentenced to 14 years in a convent, female prison or prostitutes joint.

          II.      Female homosexuals should be sentenced to 14 years in a monastery or male prison.

On Female-on-Male Rape

NOTE: This piece does not encourage rape in any form!

Girls like sex as much as guys but they are better at self-control. And guys get raped too! I'm not joking here Bruh...this is some serious shit I've been researching for sometime now. Guys can be victims of rape too!

Rape this link

Rape this link

Away from all of that, for some strange reason this seems to be good news for some of us. :) I for one; I'm a willing victim... I won't press charges! If you're a female rapist and you're reading this, just to make your job easier, I've been walking alone late at night without boxers just my trousers. And just in case you and some other girls are looking for someone to gang-rape... I now go around with enough Tramadol and packs of condom.

P.S:
Heightened Views of a Short Man (H.V.S.M) is a series I intend to keep writing as long as alcohol is cheaper than varsity textbooks.
+ Am beginning to wonder why my readers are to shy to drop a comment.

@Son_OfA_Witch