Femi Uncensored

6.21pm. The evening breeze was starting to turn chilly and boredom was setting in. This is why I hate being at home on Saturday evenings; neither could my broke-ass stay in school for the weekend. Virtually, had nowhere to go because most of my friends were not around, and just when I was about heading back to la-la-land (sleep), I remembered Auntie Sewa had asked me to help her install some software on her laptop. I put on my blue hoodie and shorts and I grumbled "I'll be back soon" to my younger brother and stepped out of the apartment. Auntie Sewa lives in the flat below ours. She had moved in with her parents after a failed and childless marriage of two years. Now, I knocked at her front door and I was about knocking a second time when a soft voice said, "Who is it?" from behind the door. "Femi", I called back. "Ok, just a minute", the soft voice said. In the two or three minutes I stood waiting for the door to be opened, m...

As I walked to the sprawling gates, with Banana Island carved out on a platform in front; I welcomed myself to Banana Island, where Timaya was booted out for being unable to pay rent, where a flat can go for #600m. Where Mike Adenuga, Iyabo Obasonjo and co take residence. Welcome to Forbes’ Most Expensive Neighbourhood in Nigeria, I told myself. “Yes, can I help you?” a stern looking security man asked rather arrogantly. He let me in after I told him I was heading to. Airtel office to see someone. I walked to the shuttle and waltzed away when I was told drop is #200, I later learnt it wasn’t so far. But time was running out, at 5:15pm, I had already gone the rounds with Multichoice, Zenith, GTB all at Ikoyi. A security detail at Dolphin Estate told me MTVBase had shifted base from Dolphin to Parkview Estate, “that Parkview ehn, na big, big, men dey live there” he explained. I smiled and I walked away. Now in the much hyped Banana Island, I walked to the shuttl...